Latest Darwin Award winner

[Cliché]

This one deserves a new thread, I'm sure others will follow…

Darwin Awards. Chlorinating The Gene Pool.

Man Shoots Firework Off Top of Head, Dies (link) — Wall Street Journal
A young man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, fatally injuring himself, authorities said Sunday.

Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend’s home in the small eastern Maine city of Calais, said Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the state Department of Public Safety.

Mr. Staples, 22, of Calais, placed a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off, he said. The firework exploded, killing him instantly, Mr. McCausland said.

—Associated Press

[Cliché]

Man mocks alligators, jumps in water and is killed in Texas (link) —CNN

Big weekend for the gene pool...

"A man who apparently mocked alligators, then jumped in the water -- despite warning signs -- is dead after being attacked in Texas. Orange County Police were called to Burkart's Marina near the Louisiana state line early Friday morning after reports that Tommie Woodward, 28, and an unidentified woman were swimming in a bayou and had been attacked by a large alligator. Woodward's body was found several hours later.

Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told CNN affiliate KFDM that Woodward ignored verbal warnings and a posted "No Swimming Alligators" sign and seemed to mock the deadly creatures before going in the water.

"He removed his shirt, removed his billfold ... someone shouted a warning and he said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Price said.

"Please do not go swimming, there's a bigger alligator out here. Just please stay out of the water," witness and marina employee Michelle Wright said she told Woodward. She said the next thing she heard was the woman screaming, "An alligator's got him." Wright said she used a flashlight in the darkness to scan the water."

[Wilson]

I always have a special level of emphathy for emergency room doctors, nurses, paramedics, etc. that work 4th of July weekend. They are doing work that I could never, ever do. Cliché has brought us two examples.

[Cliché]

I always have a special level of emphathy for emergency room doctors, nurses, paramedics, etc. that work 4th of July weekend. They are doing work that I could never, ever do. Cliché has brought us two examples.

I would agree 100 percent. I would also add I downright feel sorry for those professionals that practice in the war zone commonly known as Chicago…9 dead and 46 wounded this weekend.

[Cliché]

Man killed by snake bite at Kentucky church service (link)

A Kentucky sheriff's office says a man has died from a snake bite suffered during a church service. The Bell County sheriff's office said Monday that 60-year-old John David Brock of Stoney Fork was handling the snake during a Sunday service at a Pentecostal church in Jenson. Authorities say Brock was bitten on his left arm and refused medical treatment. The sheriff's office says Brock went to his brother's home, where he later died. The local coroner pronounced Brock dead.

[Glenly Ellynby]

Fitting to give a "Darwin Award" to a person denying science in the name of a weird religious ritual.

[newgrangian]

I believe the afore said John David Brock is disqualified for a Darwin Award by virtue of having already passed along his genes to his children and grandchildren. Obituary for John David Brock

[Cliché]

Texting motorcyclist dies in Indiana (link) — USA Today

"A motorcyclist died while texting on Interstate 65 between Lafayette and Indianapolis, police said Friday.

Brandon R. McClain, 43, of Indianapolis was riding his motorcycle southbound in the left lane of the interstate at around 3:45 p.m. Thursday when he drove into the grassy median about 40 miles northwest of Indianapolis. He lost control of the bike when he overcorrected in an attempt to get back onto the roadway, according to Indiana State Police.

"I can't go into how we knew he was texting or was in the process of texting" because the investigation is ongoing, Sgt. Kim Riley said.

McClain was not wearing a helmet. Both directions on I-65 between mile markers 150 and 155 were closed for about 90 minutes Thursday as a helicopter landed to airlift him to St. Vincent's Hospital in Indianapolis where he later died."

[Cliché]

A study to confirm men are idiots…why?

Darwin Awards study says men are far more idiotic than women (link) — CNET

"There is nothing funny about death. Some people, though, upon learning the circumstances surrounding a death, have to chuckle because they attribute a certain amount of blame to the deceased. This is because the deceased was doing something that he or she really shouldn't have been doing. Most of the time, it's a "he" who shouldn't have done it, say researchers from the UK's Newcastle University.

In their study of Darwin Award winners from 1995 to 2014, the researchers offer a depressingly clear vision of, well, idiotic behavior. Published in the British Medical Journal, their paper is titled, "The Darwin Awards: Sex Differences In Idiotic Behaviour."

Should you be unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, these celebrate those who, in the researchers' words, "must eliminate themselves from the gene pool in such an idiotic manner that their action ensures one less idiot will survive." There are five criteria: death, style, veracity, capability and self-selection. These people didn't die in unfortunate circumstances. They, in the judges' view, truly did something ineffably stupid to accelerate their death.

The researchers pointed to a couple of examples. These included the terrorist who sent a letter bomb without the requisite number of stamps. The letter bomb had a return address. When it arrived back at the terrorist's house, he opened it. Yes, without thinking.

What the boffins found during their study were 332 confirmed Darwin Awards nominees. In 14 of these, men and women were in idiotic cahoots. But of the remaining 318 cases, a stupendous 282 involved only men. This, your calculator will tell you, represents 88.7 percent.

If you look at the vast majority of utterly stupid actions that have mangled history and humanity, somewhere at their heart will be a man (and a proud one too).

[Cliché]

Suspected burglar, or, just getting into the season with a little Santa role-playing?

Suspected burglar dies after getting stuck in chimney (link) — USA Today

"When a homeowner lit a fire in his fireplace, he says he heard a man scream from inside the chimney and the house filled with smoke, according to Fresno County Sheriff's office. Firefighters, who came to the Huron, Calif., scene on Saturday, attempted to rescue suspected burglar Cody Caldwell, 19. But they found him dead after taking apart the chimney.

In an attempt to rob the home, Caldwell appears to have climbed into the chimney overnight and got stuck, police said. The coroner's office identified smoke inhalation and thermal burns as Caldwell's cause of death."

[middlein87]

Suspected burglar, or, just getting into the season with a little Santa role-playing?

Reminds me of the Worst Christmas Story Ever

[Perplexed]

Reminds me of the Worst Christmas Story Ever

Whatever happened to Phoebe Cates? It's like she married Kevin Cline and disappeared...

[Glenly Ellynby]

Suspected burglar, or, just getting into the season with a little Santa role-playing?

Suspected burglar dies after getting stuck in chimney (link) — USA Today

"When a homeowner lit a fire in his fireplace, he says he heard a man scream from inside the chimney and the house filled with smoke, according to Fresno County Sheriff's office. Firefighters, who came to the Huron, Calif., scene on Saturday, attempted to rescue suspected burglar Cody Caldwell, 19. But they found him dead after taking apart the chimney.

In an attempt to rob the home, Caldwell appears to have climbed into the chimney overnight and got stuck, police said. The coroner's office identified smoke inhalation and thermal burns as Caldwell's cause of death."

Fresno. Of course.

[Cliché]

If these Darwin stories were on a bookshelf, this would be placed just between "Man (Tommie Woodward) mocks alligators, jumps in water and is killed in Texas" and "Suspected burglar (Cody Caldwell) dies after getting stuck in chimney"

Alligator kills Florida burglary suspect hiding from cops (link) — USA Today

"Brevard County deputies have determined that Matthew Riggins, 22, was killed by an alligator in Barefoot Bay lake on Nov. 23 while possibly hiding to avoid law enforcement. Investigators say that Riggins had told his girlfriend he would be in Barefoot Bay to commit burglaries with another suspect who is now in custody but not cooperating with officials, according to Maj. Tod Goodyear with BCSO. Deputies responded to calls in Barefoot Bay on Nov. 13 that there were two men dressed in black walking behind area houses, who ran from responding officers. Later that day, Riggins was reported missing to the Palm Bay Police Department. Police searching the area reported hearing "yelling" but could not determine the source that night, Goodyear said. Ten days later, Riggins' body was found in the lake. "When the body was found, it had injuries that were consistent with an alligator attack," Goodyear said. "We had trappers euthanize the gator and when we opened it up, there were some remains inside that were consistent with injuries found on the body."

[Cliché]

Probably should have been wearing protection…

Exploding condom dispenser kills Christmas Day burglar (link with money shot) — New York Daily Post

"This condom dispenser is a killer — leaving a man with fatal head injuries after he and two thieving pals tried to blow it up to get the cash inside. The bungling burglars put an explosive material inside the vending machine Christmas morning in Schoeppingen, Germany, in hopes of scoring a big payout. Two of the crooks made it back to their car before the bomb went off. But the blast occurred before the third man could get into the vehicle car, and he was struck in the head by shrapnel.

The 29-year-old victim was rushed to the hospital by his two friends. Emergency-room doctors tried to resuscitate him, but he died. His two buddies then told hospital officials that their pal injured himself by falling down some stairs — but the medics weren’t buying their tale. They called local police to check it out. Finally, under questioning by cops, one of the men admitted that they had tried to destroy the condom dispenser to get the cash.

Nearby residents later told police they heard a loud bang near the scene at around 7:40 a.m. and saw a thick cloud of smoke. Photos of the crime scene showed condoms and money strewn on the street near the blown-out contraption. Nothing was taken, according to police. An investigation is still ongoing, but both suspects have been released from police custody, at least for now, authorities said."